I posted a few new pictures on amalaise.com

You can view them under "Sorta Fairytale."

There are a few from New Year's Eve and from my friend Amy H.'s birthday bash.

I'll try to post some more later this week. Enjoy!!!

Words are fun! These are my test results:

English Genius You scored 100% Beginner, 93% Intermediate, 100% Advanced, and 100% Expert!

You did so extremely well, even I can't find a word to describe your excellence! You have the uncommon intelligence necessary to understand things that most people don't. You have an extensive vocabulary, and you're not afraid to use it properly! Way to go! Thank you so much for taking my test. I hope you enjoyed it! For the complete Answer Key, visit my blog: http://shortredhead78.blogspot.com/. You can take the test here: http://www.okcupid.com/tests/take?testid=14457200288064322170 But be warned! There can be multiple correct answers for some questions.

I have had faith on my mind a lot lately. Probably because we are in the middle of Lent. I've been working through a Lenten bible study book called "Faith Odyssey: A Journey Through Lent" by Richard Burridge. If you are a Christian and Fantasy/Sci-Fi geek, then this is the book for you. I love it and I try to read it every year at this time.

Anyway, I've been thinking a lot about how difficult it can be to be a political liberal and a Christian. People typically place liberalism and Christianity on opposite sides of a battle. And it can be very frustrating for me. I hate being ganged up on and I get from both "Christians" and atheists. It makes me so angry. But, as I have said before, the only person I need to prove anything to is God.

So, I've been searching for books by people like me. I just went out and bought Ann Lamott's two books on faith and I have been recommened "Blue Like Jazz" which I will also try. And Garrison Keillor's "Homegrown Democrat." (he's a liberal AND a Lutheran!) I need a little spiritual boost and knowing that there are others out there like me will probably help.

It seems that 2005 is going to be a major transitional year. There have been a lot of changes and even more on the way. I've seen two family friends pass away. One friend had a baby. Two more friends are pregnant. Two sets of friends will be selling their homes and moving. Several co-workers have left and the library is experiencing a philosophical switch. My pastor is leaving. I'm starting my life with Gary and will probably move next January. Maybe we are all just at a point in our lives where we are moving to the next stage. And it's hard for me. But the one thing you can count on in life is change. I've been lucky that things have been fairly constant and regular for the past few years. But all that is changing and I'm trying to figure out coping strategies. Especially now that I am having health problems and I'm looking at the possibility of never being able to have children. It's sort of changing how I view the world and my life. Sometimes you never know how much you want something until you are told you can't have it. But I know that Gary will stick by me no matter what. And that is truly a wonderful certainty. Especially when everything else in my world is in flux.

So, I watched the "Notebook" last night and I cried for about a half hour afterwards. The story about the young couple was just your standard Hollywood fare. But the story framing the movie really got to me.

*spoiler alert*

The gist of the movie is that this elderly gentleman goes every day to a nursing home to visit his wife who is suffering from Alzheimer's. He read to her from a notebook that tells the story of their love in order to try and bring her back. He reads to her every day and the whole thing is just so touching. In the end, she has a moment of lucidity and asks him what will happen when she can't remember anything. He promises that he will always stay with her. And then she asks him if their love is strong enough to let them die together. He lays down in the hospital bed with her and the next morning, they are both found dead holding each other's hands. It was just so beautiful in a way.

I lost my grandfather, my beloved PawPaw, to Alzheimer's and it is a very cruel disease. It robs you of yourself. But the strange thing is, it also brings you to the very core of your being. The day my grandfather didn't recognize me was awful. But, he still looked at me and saw a young woman who was sad and tried to comfort me. Because that's the kind of person he was deep down. It is an awful thing to watch someone you care about go through Alzheimer's and this movie reminded me of that process. I hope so much that sometime soon we can find a cure.

Happy Valentine's Day, everyone. I spent the weekend with my honey who came in town for the occasion. We had a lovely weekend together.

I have found that since I have been with Gary, I have become a total ball of mush when it comes to love. I used to pooh pooh marriage and romance. But now, I find myself surreptitiously checking out bridal magazines and getting weepy over romantic films. What has happened to me?! (Ellen--I think your prayer group worked. Thank you.)

*spoiler alert*
Recently, I watched "Shall We Dance?" which was a sweet but mediocre film. However, there is a scene in the movie where Richard Gere's character goes to the department store where his wife works. It is after hours and she is working on a display when her husband appears coming up the escalator in a tux with a rose. He asks her to dance and when she tells him that she doesn't know how, he responds, "We've been dancing together for nineteen years!"
And then they dance around the department store.

I started sobbing and couldn't stop. It just seemed so beautiful to me that a couple could be married for nineteen years and the husband could make a romantic gesture like that. It was wonderful!

So, I leave you with that for Valentine's Day and hope that love follows you wherever you are...be it familial, romantic or the very best in friendship.

So, yesterday was Ash Wednesday. I didn't get to participate in any church activities since I was working all day. But I've always really liked Ash Wednesday because of the public witness that it provides. Anyone can wear a cross. Some people even wear crosses as jewelry. You don't even have to be a practicing Christian to wear a cross. But Ash Wednesday is a whole different scenario.

When you go to church in the morning and get the ash put on your forehead and then walk around all day with it, your actions are really saying something. One of my co-workers saw a gentleman walk into the library with ash on his forehead and she said, "What the heck is on that guy's forehead?!"

Most people just don't get it. And the idea of walking around with a big smudge on your forehead all day is mortifying to a lot of people. But I love it because it's a public declaration of faith. And I like that.

I want to congratulate Ellen of "Sugar in the Raw" on the birth of her darling baby girl Anna Marie. Ellen was one of my close buddies in college.

See pictures below!

http://www.matkowski.net/baby/birth.html

I have to admit something. I am a sucker for greeting cards. Especially homemade ones. I just love getting mail. I get so excited at the holidays when people send out Christmas cards. I line them up on my hallway table and admire them. This year, I sent out valentines to close friends. Just because. There's nothing better than going to your mailbox and finding an unexpected card waiting for you. In this age of e-mail, I start forgetting what a real honest-to-goodness handwritten note looks like. And they are so much better because you get to see the individual's handwriting and their personality in what card or stationary they choose. It's wonderful. I say....BRING BACK THE HANDWRITTEN LETTER/CARD!!!

I recently blogged about my family friend Ginger who passed away and how her family found her New Year's Resolutions for 2005 and read them at the funeral. One of her resolutions was about staying in contact with people and being sure to send them cards on special occasions. This was something Ginger was good at. Staying in touch.

It's not something I'm good at. Even though I cherish my friends so much and think about them often during my day, I'm not always good at writing and calling them. And that's a terrible thing because it is so easy to let your friends slip away.

I've been trying to reconnect with my friend Brad and I have not been successful. Brad and I have been friend since high school and even ended up going to college together. He is very dear to me and I miss him.

I also miss another dear friend named Dave who I met in college. He moved to Colorado a year before I did and he was my closest friend here until he and his wife moved away. Now, they are living happily in Boston where they are expecting their first child. I am so happy I heard from Dave a few days ago because I have really felt the loss of his presence in my life.

My friend Genevieve up in DC is the best person I know at keeping in touch with people. She is one hell of a constant friend and I love her for that. We met in our sorority back in college and she is great at not only keeping in touch but remembering and marking special occasions.

I want to be a better friend to those who are far away from me. That is going to be one of my New Year's Resolutions. In honor of Ginger.