So, do you have any actors that you are passionate about? The kind of actor that when you see them in a preview, you know you have to see that film? My three favorite actors are Hugh Jackman, Viggo Mortensen and Angelina Jolie.

Right now, I'm about halfway through Angelina Jolie's recent movie "Beyond Borders." So far, I really like it. It's a great reality check movie. You can see why Angelina is so passionate about refugees and relief work. But it also makes you feel helpless. You wonder what is actually in your power to do to help. In the movie, Angelina's character brings about $60,000 (of her own money) worth of food to a camp in Ethiopia. She is crushed to discover the food will only last a few days. We even have people who are hungry and without shelter in our own countyr. It's frustrating. I wonder if we can ever find a solution. Maybe someday, I can travel somewhere to help.

I am off to Texas now for the weekend so I won't be blogging but I'll catch you up when I get back. Have a good weekend!

So, have you ever had to offer a disclaimer about one of your friends? I have. When I am introducing two friends who have never met before, I tend to make small disclaimers about them. Mostly because I know some of their little foibles that might not go over well with others and I want to warn people so they don't misunderstand. It's not because I'm embarrassed. I just don't want anyone to get the wrong impression. I want everyone to be friends and get along.

My friend C.B. recently had some friends coming in from out of town. She warned me ahead of time that one of them might come off as unfriendly. After meeting the woman, I could see how people would get that impression. But it got me thinking about what disclaimer my friends might give about me.

Here are some thoughts I had:
Amy can jokingly say things that might unintentionally hurt your feelings
Amy can be a real loudmouth
Amy can sometimes be overly shy and might come off as quiet or rude
Amy gets overly excited about politics
Amy has a quick temper
Amy is quite sensitive and gets her feelings hurt easily
Amy sometimes has to be the center of attention
Amy can be clingy

Not all things I'm proud of (or that I even believe are true about me) but things I'm sure my friends warn other people about. Isn't it weird to have disclaimers for people? It's almost like a rating system.

Amy M. --- Rated R for foul language and violent temper

I'm a "joiner." I like becoming a part of different groups and I often overextend myself. There is just so much I want to do and be a part of. I'm still really enjoying Junior League. I will be on the Facilitator committee next year which I think will offer me some valuable training. I will learn about running meetings, agenda planning, conflict resolution, strategic planning, etc. Things I hope will become useful skills to have in the long run. Since I am starting to think about a new job, I have been joining some organizations that may have networking possibilities. League of Women Voters, Wild Things Society (young professionals supporting the Denver Zoo), the Young Fund (young professionals supporting the Children's Hospital) and Young Democrats. I'm hoping to meet some new people and network. I need more friends. I rely too heavily on the ones I have. Which are terrific, by the way. But it would be nice to spread myself around a larger group. So, that only a few don't have to be in charge of dealing with me. Of course, my levels of involvement will vary with these different groups. I can't give 110% to all of them. But hopefully, it will pay off in the end and I'll be able to find a good non-profit job or something political.

So, my friends Greg and Sara gave me a gift certificate to a spa last year for my birthday. I've been saving it up but finally decided I better use it. I decided to try something different this time. Instead of a facial or a massage, I decided to try a Moor Mud Body Wrap. Sounds exotic, huh? Well, it was. A little TOO exotic.

My spa person ended up being a cute man my age. Definitely not gay. Which would have made me more comfortable. I figured it would be like a massage. Where they uncover whatever body part they are working on. Well...it wasn't. We walked into the room and there were two washcloth-sized towels on the table. I gave the guy a very dubious look. Well, you guessed it. One (folded in half) was to cover my boobs. The other was to be placed like a diaper between my legs. Are you kidding me?!

I guess you have to be basically naked so they can spread mud all over you. But when you are down to washcloths, it's like...hey, I'm naked, why are we kidding ourselves with towels at this point? So, first he loofahed me off. Then he spread the mud all over and wrapped me up like a fat-laden Hot Pocket. (He had to leave my arms out since I'm claustrophobic) While I was cooking, he massaged oil into my head. Then, he removed the mud with hot towels. After that, I had to shower off any extra. I thought the worst humiliation was over. The last part was to be more of a traditional massage with oil. I was so relieved to walk into the room and see blankets and sheets on the table. Well, everything was going along fine until he got to my legs. Then, he didn't just uncover my legs. He uncovered an entire cellulite-ridden buttcheek. Thank God my internal monologue wasn't audible. "Is that my right buttcheek exposed to the air? Is this cute young guy actually going to be rubbing oil into my cellulite? How humiliating!!" And then he moved onto my left buttcheek! My buttcheeks were seeing more action than they had in years!

It's too bad I'm so uptight. It probably would have been relaxing if I could just ease up. After all, I had a good-looking guy covering me with mud. But I felt a wee bit exposed. I hope all that moor mud really did help my skin and cellulite. I guess we'll see. Don't think I'll be trying the treatment again anytime soon, though.

So, today the sun is shining and the temperature is near 70 degrees here in Colorado. The weather makes me feel good. It was a beautiful day at the state capitol yesterday as well. I had such a good time. We started the day with breakfast at the Colorado History Museum where we listened to a lobbyist speak. Then, they showed us the perennial favorite "I'm just a Bill on Capitol Hill" from Schoolhouse Rock. We walked over to the capitol building and my group headed to the House gallery. The whole thing was so interesting. It was like watching a good sporting event to me. I was literally on the edge of my seat. Would this resolution pass? Would that one be defeated? After awhile, we had a mini-tour of the capitol and then split up to go to committee meetings. I attened the Senate committee meeting on education and the House committee meeting on education. It was really interesting but very frustrating. I had a strong opinion on one of the issues and I had to sit there quietly while the four Republican senators on the committee passed the resolution 4-2. Of course, it could still die when it gets to the Senate or the House but it is very sobering to realize that so few people make the big decisions that affect our lives. I didn't want to leave and come back to the library. I wanted to stay there and work on those issues. Maybe someday I will. At the event, I met a young female lawyer who invited me to join the Young Fund which is a group of young professionals supporting the Children's Hospital. Because I am a JOINER, I said sure. Anything to meet new people, get involved, network and maybe find a new job in the nonprofit sector.

Since I am half-Irish, I stopped in at the Celtic tavern to have a beer with some hashers. The crowd was too much though so I headed home after one beer to relax at home with a few DVDs. A pretty quiet but productive St. Patrick's Day. I hope I make it to a job in the Capitol someday.

So, here is something you may or may not know about me. I love festivals. And benefits. I enjoy attending the Greek Festival and Cherry Creek Arts Festival every year. I love sampling foods, looking at wares, riding rides, watching entertainment. Of course, the mother of all festivals for me is the Texas State Fair. I love that thing! You get to go see all the latest cars and innovations. And you can eat til you puke. One of the few times I eat cotton candy and caramel apples. This past year, my mom and I spent an entire day at the fair. We even sat and watched a sheepdog herding exhibition.

And I love benefits. I like the idea of having fun and it benefitting someone or something. In a few weeks, I will be attending a comedy night with heavy hors o'euvres and a cash bar. Sound like fun, huh? And it benefits Rape Assistance and Awareness.

If it's a festival that benefits something, well...fabulous! Even if it's the Asian Cherry Blossom Festival to benefit aging bald men with gambling problems. Sounds good to me! Sign me up!

Tomorrow, I'm spending the day at the state capital. I will sit in on different sessions and committee meetings. I get to tour the capital and lunch with legislators. I'm very excited!

Of course, if I see Senator Allard, I'll have to bite my thumb at him. I can't believe he is the sponsor of the Federal Marriage Resolution. How embarrassing for Colorado! Like our legislators have nothing better to do than persecute law-abiding homosexual citizens! By the way, did I tell you my friend Brandon is a gay ninja? How cool is that!

So, in one of my Lenten devotionals I've been reading, the writer talks about how other people (especially his wife) become mirrors for him. You can see the effects of your actions and choices mirrored in others. I have very specific ideas about how I want to comport myself. And sometimes, I think I am living according to those standards but when I see myself mirrored in the people around me, I haven't been. Anyone who knows me knows that one of my biggest fears in life....the one thing I really can't stand...is the thought of intentionally hurting someone's feelings. Even with the people I dislike most in the world. To me, it's one thing for someone to get angry with you. I can deal with that. But to hurt someone. That to me is the worst thing you can do. And I have recently been accused of deliberately hurting someone's feelings and that is devastating to me. Especially because this person believes I do it intentionally and with frequency. That is not who I am. And I can't believe anyone, especially someone who knows me, could believe that I would intentionally do something like that. But maybe sometimes people don't know us as well as we think they do.

I actually had a really nice Saturday. I spent the whole day with my friend Amy. We had a nice lunch and hit a bunch of consignments shops. That night, our friend Chucky took us to dinner and a show. "Patsy DeCline." The show sort of makes fun of country music. We had a good time. I wish things could always be that effortlessly fun. Just to be able to enjoy the company of your friends without drama.

Hey Bad Buddha. I just caught up on your blog. (see FLAMING HOBO) Since you don't have a comment engine, I'm going to comment here. I see a little of myself in all the women you are describing. I can't wait to see your description of the Bitch. How exactly would you categorize me? Who knew a Belgian could be such a Don Juan? Perhaps Life by Candelight should respond with the typical types of men in the dating world.

Have you ever heard the expression "When God closes a door, He opens a window"? I have felt lately that a friend of mine is trying to close the door on our friendship. At that the same, a friend that I thought was lost, Guillermo, just contacted me. Maybe he's my window. I don't want friendship to be hard. Maybe we should all keep it at a superficial level. Maybe it's easier to get along that way. The more complex things get, the harder they get. First it's just you and your friends, then you add boyfriends that may become husbands, then children, etc. The more the group extends the more the dynamic changes and it can be hard. Especially when some of you have very short fuses. Maybe it just gets too hard. But I never like closing any doors on people. I hate failing at friendship. What a rotten thing. In small towns in Texas, people seldom use the front door. Typically, friends and family enter through the garage. The front door of our friendship may be closed. But Anna....I'm leaving the door to the garage open for you.

So, I was listening to one of the CDs my friend Brandon made for me and there is this song by Jimmy Eat World that says "If I don't let myself be happy now, then when?" It made me think about how much control we have over our own happiness. Sometimes, I think I keep waiting for certain things to happen. If only "this" would happen, then I would be happy. But I guess it's more important to just be happy as you are. Not to let it be contingent on other things. I think right now I need to figure out exactly who I want to be and what I want. People tend to rush into relationships because they feel good but may not necessarily meet their ultimate needs. A friend of mine was married for several years and there was no lack of love there but they finally realized that they both wanted different things out of life. Maybe they always had or maybe they had grown in different directions but when all was said and done, they had to divorce. I think friendships can be like that too. Sometimes, you have to part even when there is no lack of affection. It's always hard but I remain hopeful that maybe those relationships can be repaired in the future. In the meantime, I need to decide what I want and to let myself be happy now. Even if I don't have everything I want.