Friday, June 27, 2003

Ebenezer Scrooge said that the wonderful thing about his former boss Fezziwig was that he had the ability to make their work lives a heaven or a hell. And, being a man of great humor and positive spirit, Fezziwig elicited adoration in his employees. We can be forced to perform the dullest job on earth but, with the right company, it can still be fun. For a long time, I looked at the library that way. I have felt myself to be surrounded with people of great humor and positive spirit. But that is no longer the case. As we face greater budget cuts and staffing layoffs, we have become a community of disgruntled demoralized people who pick fights with each other and our customers at the slightest provocation. This morning I had the biggest fight in my working career with a co-worker that I have heretofore looked at as one of my favorite people in the library. I fear the damage is irreparable. I can't even stand to be around her much less talk to her. Our desk shifts together are filled with an icy silence. I am starting to feel that my workplace has become a hell. I feel like I can't trust my co-workers anymore. We are no longer united as a team in a common cause. We have become people filled with petty grievances who talk about one another behind each other's backs. I am not exempt from this behavior and I'm not proud of it. I just wonder whether I should try and get out now before I become someone completely embittered, angry and distrustful.

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