Tuesday, September 30, 2003

I'm looking out the window at work today and enjoying the change in the weather. It looks rainy outside but it's not. Only the suggestion of rain. It looks warm outside but it's not. People are wearing light jackets. I love the fall. My favorite season. The air gets crisp and clean. You can be outside without getting sweaty. The colors of the leaves changing. Pumpkin pie. Curling up with a book by the fire. Hot chocolate. Holiday shopping. I know that seems early for some of you but one of my favorite things in life is buying presents for the people I love. I already have about half of my Christmas shopping done. I really shouldn't start so early. I'm a cynic/pragmatist and I realize I could be left with useless presents if any friendship/relationships dissolve by December 25. My mother is convinced I treat my boyfriend badly. That is not true. I just don't choose to get all gushy and ridiculous about my relationship. I've been through two others that I felt extremely optimistic about that didn't pan out. So, why get excited about this one? Not everyone gets a happy ending. Not everyone gets married and has 2.5 children. Why set yourself up for disappointment? I went to see "Under the Tuscan Sun" which I enjoyed surprisingly enough. I think the ending was a cop-out. It would have been better if she had ended up alone. That would be more honest. I can visualize myself in a lovely house in a foreign country. Filling it with friends and food and family and pets. That wouldn't be an empty life. Even if there wasn't a husband or children in it.

Thursday, September 25, 2003

Hello. My name is Amy and I'm a liberal Christian. That feels like an Alcoholics Anonymous statement. But I think that is what liberal Christians are sometimes made to feel like. Sick. Aberrant. Confused. I really love going to the local Lifeway Christian Bookstore and picking up some new books. But recently, I've been faced with displays at the front door of books by George Bush Jr., Oliver North, Bill O'Reilly. Ugh. Where are all the liberals? Why does Al Franken have to be a Jew? I could really use a liberal Christian in my corner. I can't even enjoy an online bible study without hearing all these conservative comments. Why does being a Christian and being a liberal have to be mutually exclusive? Get ready because I'm really going to shock you now. I'm an anthropologist. I believe in evolution. I'm pro-choice. I think there is nothing wrong with being gay. I believe there is value in all religions and people shouldn't be persecuted for their beliefs. I believe that faith is more important than organized religion and that if people want to practice the Christian faith, they should be allowed to attend church. Even if they're gay. I don't believe that sex is dirty. I guess in my mind, I'm trying to follow Jesus' example although I don't always succeed. He didn't hang out with the wealthiest cleanest most perfect segments of society. He tried to look on everyone with love. I don't really hear many conservatives speaking with love. They seem to specialize in hate and anger. Especially where the Dixie Chicks are concerned. Is it really worth getting so upset about? Why the "holier than thou" attitude? And why is being a liberal so bad? (After all, I go to church, study my Bible and teach Sunday school)

Monday, September 15, 2003

I have an anecdote for you. The Ringling Bros Barnum & Bailey Circus are teaming up with libraries to promote Library Card Sign-up month. Whatever. I hate the circus because I don't like to see animals perform. I think it is demeaning and cruel. But the clowns are okay. I actually took a clowning class a long time ago and even developed my own makeup. But, back to the story... As part of the promotion, children can come in and show their library card and get a free clown nose. Well, we have several groups from neighboring nursing home/retirement communities coming in every week on their bus. Today, one elderly lady came up and asked for a clown nose. She said she wanted to wear it to dinner to give everyone a good laugh. I was so happy about that. How wonderful to have a sense of humor like that at 70+. I think her quality of life must be better than that of others. There is another elderly lady who comes in to the library who is in great physical condition, even drives at 80 +, and yet she whines and complains all the time. I hope I don't become an angry, unpleasant, bitter old lady. I hope that when I become a senior citizen, I will still have the whimsy and sense of humor to wear a clown nose to dinner.

Thursday, September 11, 2003

Has it been two years already? It seems like 09/11/01 was only yesterday. Do you remember where you were? It was about 7:45am here in Denver. I was oversleeping and my mom called and woke me up. She said a plane had flown into one of the towers and that I needed to get up and turn on the t.v. My alarm (always set to NPR) went off about that time and the news of the second plane came on the air. The nightmare was just beginning. I still can't believe the loss we experienced. I wonder if that's what it was like for my grandparents with Pearl Harbor. Only Pearl Harbor was an open war waged by clear enemies on a military installation. It wasn't about cowards killing non-miltary innocents. At least we had a clear enemy to fight back then. And a President who could lead us effectively. A President who asked us to make REAL sacrifices and come together as a country instead of telling us to go out and shop while dividing us from each other even more.

I hope we'll all reflect today on what we lost on 9/11 but also on what we gained. I think we began to let go of our belief in our invincibility. And maybe we began to appreciate each other a bit more.

If you'd like to view a card about today, follow this link. (or cut and paste it into your browser)


Wednesday, September 10, 2003

You know how some people go ga-ga over musicians or movie stars. Well, I seem to go ga-ga over political comedians. I used to love Dennis Miller but I am convinced he has been kidnapped by aliens and replaced by a pod person. What the hell happened to him anyway? I also really like Bill Maher. Very no nonsense person. But the one I really have a crush on? Al Franken. And I'm not ashamed to admit it. He's smart and funny and cute in a nerdy way. I love the way he sticks it to stuck-up conservatives like Ann Coulter, Bill O'Reilly and Sean Hannity. His new book is laugh-out-loud funny. But also shocking in a depressing sort of way. If he's right and Bush is really doing the negative things laid out Franken's book, we are in for a lot of trouble as a country. Will we ever see a light at the end of the recession tunnel? How many more countries will we go to war with to raise morale and popular opinion ratings for the president?
Well, I went to my first Junior League meeting last night and guess what....it was fine. The women were normal. Very pleasant and friendly. And surprisingly diverse. I think it will end up being a good experience. I like the idea of being a part of something where I can learn a lot while donating my time and energy. There are lots of good leadership opportunities in this organization and I'm really looking forward to getting involved. Of course, I feel pretty busy right now just trying to keep up with church and teaching Sunday school. And I'm also making an effort to exercise more which seems to take up a lot of time. I think I need one day to just sit and do nothing. It always feels like there is something going on and that I don't have enough hours in the day to do everything I'd like to. Oh well. Plenty of time to rest when you're dead, right?

Saturday, September 06, 2003

Reasons to stay in my job: decent pay, excellent benefits, job security, some job satisfaction (I stay busy, I like doing storytimes and creating displays and working around books. But what about my job INsecurity? The parts I don't like. I don't feel fulfilled by my job. I hate dealing with whiney customers. I hate the fact that people treat us like Blockbuster. I mean, get a frickin' book with those twenty videos and DVDs, will ya? I face some of the most uneducated people in the world in my job. They must do nothing all day but sit on their bums watching t.v. And they are getting fatter. I'm not kidding. When you check out seven DVDs and each one is one entire season of a t.v. show and you can only have one week to watch them, you won't be doing much exercising. Just a lot of sitting on your bum and eating while watching the DVDs. It really depresses me. After returning my ten-zillionth video today at work, I said to my friend and co-worker Greg, "it's all so tiresome. You can put that on my tombstone. 'It was all so tiresome.'" I was joking of course but it does feel that way sometimes.

Thursday, September 04, 2003

Well, it's been two weeks since i started the South Beach Diet and I haven't lost an ounce. How depressing. At this rate, I'll never lose weight in time for my class reunion in October. And then I have to wonder....why do I care? Why does the opinion of these high school people still matter to me after all these years? I feel like an underachiever. I really had the momentum going coming out of high school and it seemed like I lost it somewhere in college. I misplaced my drive. I was really more interested in getting active in organizations like Amnesty, Environmetnal Action Group, Anthropology Society etc than I was going to class. Activism was more interesting than scholarship. And now I have a M.A. and I'm not employed in my field and that depresses me. It's like time and money wasted. I need a more impressive job. I mean, is "circulation clerk" really going to impress anyone at the reunion? I doubt it.