Tuesday, May 17, 2005

After losing my beloved job at the museum 4 1/2 years ago, I cast about for a job that would offer me so job satisfaction while I tried to get back into museums.

My friend Greg suggested I join him at the library. I thought working at the library would be even better than working in a bookstore. I idealized an equal-opportunity world of books where anyone could come in off the street and enjoy the pleasures of immersing themselves in a book.

Boy, was I wrong.

I used to believe in the basic goodness of people. I don't anymore. I used to believe that books could change the world. I don't anymore. I used to believe that most people were reasonable and thoughtful. I don't anymore. I used to believe that people are essentially considerate. I don't anymore.

I have become embittered and cynical. And with the latest customer complaint lodged against me that involves an accusation of discrimation, I'm starting to wonder if I can make it til January. Perhaps I should just cut my losses and leave. If only I didn't need the money and the recommendation. I would so love to just be able to walk off the job right now.

I hate what this job has done to me...

3 comments:

Genevieve said...

I'm sorry you are so down right now. Have you started the Cali job search yet? I don't think it's too soon, even for Jan., and maybe you will find something so superfantastic that it will make sense to take the financial hit.

SonSon said...

That sounds terrible! I hope you can get a few up days. I know this may sound trite or cliche' but sometimes you can make the biggest difference in the worst places. Like I said, I don't mean to sound trite, just trying to help. Maybe put a little different spin on things, just to get you through. I've had crappy jobs but yours sounds really bad. Good luck!

Malady said...

Thank you so much for your positive thoughts! I came in to work yesterday just to do my storytime and it made me so happy. It reminded me that there ARE bright spots in my work life. I'm gonna hang in there. Just six more months!