Ebenezer Scrooge said that the wonderful thing about his former boss Fezziwig was that he had the ability to make their work lives a heaven or a hell. And, being a man of great humor and positive spirit, Fezziwig elicited adoration in his employees. We can be forced to perform the dullest job on earth but, with the right company, it can still be fun. For a long time, I looked at the library that way. I have felt myself to be surrounded with people of great humor and positive spirit. But that is no longer the case. As we face greater budget cuts and staffing layoffs, we have become a community of disgruntled demoralized people who pick fights with each other and our customers at the slightest provocation. This morning I had the biggest fight in my working career with a co-worker that I have heretofore looked at as one of my favorite people in the library. I fear the damage is irreparable. I can't even stand to be around her much less talk to her. Our desk shifts together are filled with an icy silence. I am starting to feel that my workplace has become a hell. I feel like I can't trust my co-workers anymore. We are no longer united as a team in a common cause. We have become people filled with petty grievances who talk about one another behind each other's backs. I am not exempt from this behavior and I'm not proud of it. I just wonder whether I should try and get out now before I become someone completely embittered, angry and distrustful.

Saw "Whale Rider" last night with my talented friend Brian Colonna of the illustrious Bunport Theater (http://www.buntport.com). A little theater where they occasionally allow me to grace the stage. Although grace may not be the right word. Anyway, the movie was great. Although you can easily figure out the ending, it is more of a fable than a complex tale. Great for young girls. Moving story. Great scenery. Brian and I both got a little teary-eyed. Go see it. ASAP. And take a kid with you. It has a great "girls can do anything" message.

I forgot to credit my friend Ellen with this whole Blog thing. She is probably the most creative person I know and her blogspot inspired me. Check it out at http://sugarintheraw.blogspot.com

I felt a little out of sorts Saturday night so I trucked over to my favorite movie theater, the Madstone, to see "Lilya 4-Ever." It's an independent Russian film about a teen at the end of the Soviet Union. Pretty bleak. She is 16 and is abandoned by her mother who moves to America with her boyfriend. Lilya runs out of money and has to become a prostitute. And that's when things REALLY get bad. I guess what makes the film so hard to watch is that these things continue to happen today. I can't even imagine what it would be like to have to live like that. After the movie, I returned home to my beautiful house with a refridgerator full of food and money in the bank. I have a good job with benefits, a great mom, wonderful friends, a fabulous boyfriend, a church. What would it be like to have NONE of those things? That was Lilya's life. She had nothing but her spirit. Which, of course, is eventually broken. The whole film made me sad. We take so much for granted.

Well, the weekend is over. Harry Potter entered the book world with a big bang. I was at the Boulder Barnes and Noble event. They had over 1000 people in the store. Mostly sitting in the aisles. What chaos! But it was fun seeing the people all dressed up in costumes. It's so great to see kids getting excited about a BOOK for a change. I have made it through the first couple of chapters. If anyone tells me who dies, I'm going to smack them.

Welcome to my life. It's not always exciting or even interesting but it's mine.

Why candlelight? Because everything looks better by candlelight.

And because of my favorite bible verse: John 1:5

"The light shines in the darkness and the darkness has not overcome it."

So there it is. Come on in and experience what it is like to be me.