I have never been a person who gives in to fear. I have always liked that line from the movie Strictly Ballroom..."a life lived in a fear is a life half-lived." "Feel the fear and do it anyway." I used that one a lot when I was learning how to ski. I could fill this post with platitudes like that.
I recently wrote a post about how parenthood has affected and changed me. It seems as if everywhere I look or everything I read reminds me of how fragile life is. A few weeks ago, a friend of mine lost a dear friend. This woman was a prominent lawyer in Dallas. She and her husband and their 4-year-old son were killed in a house fire. They couldn't get out. I did not know these people personally but I was greatly affected by the story. I cried a lot. And then I went out and bought new fire extinguishers and smoke alarms for my home. This morning, I heard on the radio about a local family of four killed by a reckless driver running a red light this past weekend. The children were 8 and 5. We think we have control over our lives. Look at how I responded to the death of the family in Dallas. I went out and bought fire safety devices. But how do I control a reckless or drunk driver? The fact is that I cannot keep my child safe and my family safe. There is nothing that I can do or buy that will ensure their safety. I could do everything in the world to physically protect my child and then he could get sick. My time volunteering with a children's hospital and Make-a-Wish Foundation have shown me this reality in spades. So, I have new fears in my life now. I am traveling with my mother and little one this coming weekend. This is the first time I have traveled with my child. I am nervous about the plane ride. I lay in bed last night thinking about something going wrong with the plane. How ridiculous is that?! I have never had any fear of flying before! Is this how I am going to spend my life now? Full of fear and anxiety?
As Christians, we are supposed to put our faith in God. Everything from worrying about our daily needs to our greater fears. It is really hard for me to "hand it over" sometimes. Especially with all the daily reminders of how things can go wrong that confront me in the news, on television, in my books. Do you know that the last four books I read had the deaths of children in them?! I think I need a break!!! It's time for some fluffy comfort reading. If I mention that I am about to start a book and you have read it and it has the death of a child in it, PLEASE STEER ME AWAY FROM IT! Just for the time being. I'm ready for a few sugarplums dancing in my head instead of tragedy. In the meantime, I am going to work on letting go of fear and just living in the moment and handing all the worry and negativity over to God.
Maybe Keb' Mo' can help me out.