I would like to tell you that I had a magical Christmas with my family. I'd like to tell you we enjoyed each other's company and made merry while watching Noodlebug tear into his packages. I'd like to tell you Christmas was everything I had hoped it would be.
I can't tell you that.
This was the worst Christmas I can remember having. Fighting, negativity, disappointment. I knew the holiday was crashing down around my ears when I couldn't muster any enthusiasm to go view Christmas lights which is one of my favorite holiday activities. My tradition is to put up the Christmas decorations on the day after Thanksgiving and take them down on New Year's Day. The decorations have been put away for days now because I cannot look at them.
I received many wonderful and generous gifts. Things that I will enjoy for a long time. But the only gift I really wanted was a merry Christmas. On the upside, Noodlebug reveled in the attention of three uncles and one aunt. He was beside himself with excitement and happiness at having so many people to play with. He was appropriately spoiled and the big hit of the holiday was a mini basketball goal that his uncle gave him. His father and uncles are grooming him to be the next Kobe Bryant. I think Noodlebug is shell-shocked now that the house is so empty and quiet.
This has been a tough year for my family. Many challenges that I still haven't figured out yet. I can only continue to hope for a happier future. New Year's is right around the corner and it is a time for new beginnings. I return to work on Monday so in the interim I will enjoy my last few days as a temporary stay-at-home mom.
I wish you all the happiest of New Years and hope for a better tomorrow.