Thursday, December 16, 2004

So, another realization.

I am very short-tempered. This is nothing new. I have been better about controlling it lately, though. I tend to get easily irritated and I'm very short on patience. But, although I anger quickly, I am also quick to get over it. Lately, I've been trying just to keep it in and let myself simmer down before reacting. Because the fact of the matter is, I don't like conflict. I'm not afraid of it but I just prefer everyone to get along.

My problems with my co-worker G. have reached a new level. Actually, a new low. Her constant picking on me, criticizing me and finding fault have finally pushed me over the edge. She really irritates me but I keep it to myself. I don't confront her. I just silently stew until I get over it or I vent to a friend. G. feels the need to confront me constantly. What makes this difficult is that she only has a problem with me. Everyone else thinks she is all sweetness and light. Her actions have brought me to the point that I want to call in sick on days when I know I will be working with her. I'm always on edge because I worry about what I will do today that will make her mad. And it's never intentional. I don't like fighting and I don't want to cause problems. But I always seem to do something to piss her off. I will think that things are moving along merrily and all of a sudden she will confront me with something out of left field. It actually makes my stomach hurt just thinking about it.

Yesterday, I submitted a formal complaint in writing to my boss. I didn't know what else to do. I don't want to be a trouble-maker and I don't want to be one of those people who runs to tattle on her co-worker. I have never dealt with this before in a work situation and it's really hard. I prefer to deal with things on my own. But I'm tired of being constantly attacked. It's creating a hostile working environment for me. So, I'm meeting with my boss today to discuss it. And I'm really nervous about it. But I have to do something. I'm tired of dreading going to work.

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