I don't know why but I have been completely fixated with the Natasha Richardson story. In case you haven't heard, actress Natasha Richardson had an accident skiing yesterday that left her with a serious brain injury. Latest reports state that she has been taken off of life support after having been flown back to the States for her family to say goodbye. She is 45 years old. She has two sons.
I look at my baby sometimes and I wonder what, if anything, he would remember about me if I were to die today. (I know that sounds a little morbid but what can I say?) An internet buddy of mine sent me a beautiful journal when the baby was born last year. I have been using that journal to record moments and thoughts in Baby's life. I write in it every couple of days and I address my thoughts directly to Baby. I'm thinking I will give it to him on his 18th birthday. The journal is filled with thoughts like how I feel when I pick him up after work and see how excited he is to see me. How excited I got when he figured out how to turn the pages in books that I read to him. How I sing him a special song every night before he goes to bed. If anything happens to me, Baby will have this special journal full of thoughts and memories that I have saved just for him.
I'm starting to think that I should begin a new journal for the other people in my life. Maybe I'll write things like:
I love it how my husband always brings me my favorite sparkling water in the evening.
I had fun going to lunch with Mom and Baby today where we introduced Baby to the joys of dill pickles.
I had a terrific time talking to my buddy Greg on the phone. He always makes me pee my pants with laughter.
Maybe our journal should be less about us and more about the people around us. How they affect us and what they mean to us. Special stories that we have shared with them. That way, if anything DOES happen to us, there will be plenty of special memories to hold onto. So, don't journal for yourself. Journal for everyone who will be reading it.