So, I'm in the library today doing what I usually do when I have some downtime. Thinking about Gary. (isn't that gross? Love can make you stupid sometimes.)
There are these great lyrics in Heather Combs' song "Hold Me Now" that make me think of him.
"so afraid of everything i feel but wanting you with all my might
and this is not what i expected, oh but you turned my head
this is not what i expected, it's everything i've needed
it's the way you touch me
the way you see my heart
the way you whisper my name
when we're lying in the dark
the way you take my words
and keep the secrets that you know
the way you hold me
baby don't you let me go"
I think part of me is always asking Gary not to let me go. Maybe I'm having trouble reconciling my little brain to the idea that someone as wonderful as him isn't going to disappear in a puff of smoke. This is certainly not what I expected. But it truly is everything I needed.