Tuesday, October 05, 2004

Well, tonight is the next debate! I'm looking forward to it!

I watched the premiere episodes of "Desperate Housewives" last night and I really liked it. But it got me thinking about a subject that has been running around in my head lately.

On Alanis Morrisette's new albums, there is a line in the first song that says,
"How to hate women when you're supposed to be a feminist."

Why is this such a problem for women? I saw an episode of "The Apprentice" and the women's team is always fighting and bitching and back-stabbing each other. Can we not work together and support each other? Why do we always have to be so competitive and catty with one another? Even without meaning to I think we sometimes find ourselves silently criticizing other women's appearances. Their clothes. Their makeup. Their hair. Their weight. Especially their weight! And we are quick to label each other bitches and sluts and battleaxes and bimbos.

These days, we are taught to be strong and independent. But we try so hard to fulfill those roles that we often cannot work together. Given a choice to be on an all-female team or be the only female on an all-male team, I would choose the all-male team. I find my friendships with the men in my life to be so much easier. And I'm not sure why. Maybe men are just more upfront about who they are and what they are thinking.

There is a book that came out a few years ago called "Woman's Inhumanity to Woman" about this phenomenon where women are no longer supportive of one another but in constant competition with each other. I wish we could start working on this. It's time for us to be supportive of one another instead of tearing each other down.


Anonymous said...

The change to be a more supportive woman to other women starts with you. You would pick to be the only woman on the man's team - that's the problem. I would want to be on the all-woman team. My friendships with men aren't any easier. Many of the men in my life can be aloof about making plans and aren't really great at emotional support. The jobs I have enjoyed the most in my life are those in which I worked mostly with women. The men I have worked for and with have all been members of the "good-old-boys" club. As a woman, I was never invited into their "circle". Men may be easier to get along with on a more superficial level, but it's the women in my life who have given me unconditional love, emotional support and the best of times and frienships.

Malady said...

I agree with you "Anonymous." It can often be difficult to break through the "Good-old-boy" barrier. And I cherish my female friendships. But, to be fair, the men I am friends with have also offered love, support and genuine feeling. I am just tired of women being portrayed as back-stabbing bitches who can't get along.

Anonymous said...

But men who are loving and compassionate are either your boy-toy or they want to be your boy-toy.