Ode to Gary (with apologies to Keats)
My heart aches, and a drowsy numbness pains
My head, as though of red wine I had drunk,
Or emptied some dull DVD into my brain
One minute more, and malaise-wards I had sunk:
'Tis not through distress of my happy lot,
But being too happy in my happiness,
That thou, sweet-faced satyr of the wood,
In some melodious plot
Of rain-drenched green, and prairie dogs numberless,
Long for summer and warm days of good.
O for a kiss from Gary! that hath been
Desired a long age in my lonely pilgrim soul,
Tasting of Lagunitas and other alcohol unseen,
hugs, and hand-holding, and untold mirth!
O for the warmth of Gary’s dear mouth!
Full of the true, the loving, the obscene,
With dear bits of stubble on his chin,
And big loud mouth;
That I might drink, and leave this lonely scene,
And then fade away into Disneyland with him:
Fade far away, dissolve, and quite forget
What other people without Gary have never known,
The happiness, the fever, and the joy
Here, where we sit and hear each other laugh;
Where joy shakes a few, glad, golden hairs,
Where my skin grows pale, and wan, and longs for his touch;
Where but to think of being without him is to be full
Of sorrow and despairs;
Where sadness can be seen in my bloodshot eyes,
As this still-new Love makes me feel wonderful.
Soon! Soon! I will fly to thee,
Not carried by United and its partners,
But in the wingless chariot of my car,
Though the snowy passes and long highways:
Already thinking of being with you,
And happily Toulouse is at my side,
Listening closely to the Ipod for company
But here there is no longing left,
For soon I will be in your arms again.