BAD MOTHER by Ayelet Waldman

I have been putting off this book review because I'm not sure how I am going to review it. Reading this book became a very personal experience for me and my impressions of the book may be skewed.

I loved this book. It could be that BAD MOTHER is just what I needed to read right now. I thought it was going to be another one of those books in the "not now Sweetie, Mommy needs a martini" genre. You know the ones. All those mommy bloggers who complain about being a mom in a snarky "fun" way. This book does not fall into that category.

Waldman recently came under fire for claiming to love her husband more than her children. People had very strong reactions to that statement. I have no real opinion on all of that controversy either way. I was just curious to see what else she had to say. Waldman clearly loves her family. She does not sentimentalize motherhood nor does she present it as a burden. She is simply a mother trying to navigate the complexities of our modern world.

When Waldman talked about the challenges she faced with many bloggers and online mom "support" groups, I nodded my head. A giant lightbulb went off in my head when she used the example of attachment parenting. People seem to be able to disagree about a lot of things in life and move on but parenting doesn't seem to be one of them. Why is that? Waldman points out that parenting is a belief system for people. It becomes a point where people either subscribe to your view or they don't and there aren't a lot of grey areas. What a simple idea and how true!

I cried when Waldman discussed her struggles with breastfeeding. I was so committed to breastfeedings when I started out and I nearly drove myself crazy trying to sort through all the advice I was given. Northern California is filled with attachment parenting/breastfeeding/anti-immunization/co-sleeping advocates and heaven help you if you don't do those things. People made me feel like the breastfeeding issues were all my fault. I managed to breastfeed for seven months and would have done it longer if I could. To this day, I still feel like a failure.

I cried even more when Waldman shared the horrible circumstances of the abortion of her third child. It takes a very brave person to share a story like that. I thank God that I have never been put in that position and I can't imagine what it would be like.

I appreciate Waldman's openness and her no-nonsense approach. I found myself nodding my head quite a bit and thinking about how I would react in similar situations. The truth is that we all simply do the best we can and hope for the best!

BOTTOM LINE: Recommended. This book may not have much to say to individuals who are not parents but it does offer a unique perspective on many issues facing moms today such as why we seem to have trouble simply supporting one another. I have a feeling I will be referring back to this book in the future and I look forward to Waldman's next literary effort.

MOMMYWOOD by Tori Spelling

Tori Spelling and I are close in age and, in a lot of ways, I feel as if we have grown up together. I never really cared much for Ms. Spelling, however, until my mother convinced me to check out her reality show. I expected to find in the show an opportunity to mock Tori Spelling and have all my more uncharitable ideas about her confirmed. I was surprised to discover how funny and self-deprecating she can be. I also appreciated her various neuroses because they rang an all-too-familiar bell with me. After discovering a new appreciation for Tori Spelling through her reality show, I was very interested to read her book, STORI TELLING. It was a disappointment. I found no real insights or new bits of information. The book proved to be a bit of a slog. Still, when I heard her new book would chronicle her experiences as a mother, I had to check it out.

MOMMYWOOD presents Tori Spelling as a mother and also as a celebrity trying for a bit of normalcy. This book is much more entertaining and revealing than her first. Spelling is actually quite funny and pulls no punches when it comes to exposing her neuroses and issues. As a new mom myself, I found it interesting to see how a celebrity deals with many of the same issues. Of course, I don't have a baby nanny, housekeeper or camera crew but moms are still moms.

BOTTOM LINE: Recommended. If you are interested in Tori Spelling, read this book and skip STORI TELLING. Better yet, check out her reality show to see her charming ditziness in action. If you are not a Spelling fan, skip this one.

Mommylitapalooza Reviews

There may be more to come but I'm going to list my current reviews of my Mommylitapalooza books here. I'm grouping them because not everyone is interested in Mommy Lit.


1) MOMMY TRACKED by Whitney Gaskell
This book follows the lives of four mothers. One is a high-powered working mom who is missing out on the lives of her two young twin. One is a mom with several children who is very insecure about her weight. One is a single mom trying to learn how to date again. One is a new mom struggling with an absentee partner. The four friends lean on each other as they try to figure out how to balance their lives as wives and mothers. The story is fairly uneventful. I think most moms will find at least one character or event to identify with. However, I didn't really connect with the story. The ending was the only part with true genuine feeling. I think this book would have worked better as a series where the author could have fleshed out the characters and stories better.



2) PLAYGROUP by Nelsie Spencer
Wow this is a misleading book! I was expecting your standard mommy lit but instead I found a book about a recovering bulimic who embarks on a lesbian affair on the Upper East Side. This book really had nothing to do with being a mother. The children and the playgroup only serve as the jumping off point for the affair. The sex scenes were just embarrassing. I say that not as a prude but as someone who cringed at the silliness and over-the-top descriptions of sex. They stopped the story cold. I found myself irritated by all of the characters. What a waste of time!



3) I DON'T KNOW HOW SHE DOES IT by Allison Pearson

This was by far my favorite Mommy lit book. It is a British novel about a working mom trying to have it all. The feelings expressed in the book were genuine and heart-wrenching. Pearson accurately captures the complexities that working moms have to face and all the heartaches that come with them. The book was well-written, thought-provoking and never-boring. I will definitely be looking for more books by Pearson.