So, I'm suffering from bronchitis right now but I thought I'd give one last ditch effort for the Kerry campaign.

I know some of you are still on the fence and I understand that. If you don't feel Kerry is the better man for the job, don't vote for him. But don't vote for Bush either.

What exactly has Bush done for you lately? Seriously.

His biggest campaign issue is National Security. If you believe Bush really makes America safer, check out Richard Clark's book AGAINST ALL ENEMIES. Richard Clark is nonpartison. He was the terrorism czar under Bush and worked under every White House president since Reagan. 9/11 happened on Bush's watch and for good reason. He and his staff chose to ignore repeated warnings from intelligence and refused to spend any money to set up the National Security office that Clinton's administration had left plans for. Now, he talks all about this new Homeland Security thing he set up. He had the opportunity to do that BEFORE 9/11 and did not. In retrospect, it seems pretty piss poor.

His domestic policies are so bad that many Republicans are switching parties. Yes, Bush gave most of us $300 but in the long run, does that really help? By doing that insignificant tax cut, he was forced to cut many valuable programs. And even though he got things like No Child Left Behind passed, he allocated no money for the programs.

He ran Texas into the ground as governor and now he is doing the same to our country. Isn't it time for a change?

Well, I cast my vote over my lunch hour. They have been encouraging people to do early voting to be sure your vote actually gets counted. I was so excited I could barely contain myself. I have always been a fast test-taker and from middle school through grad school my professors would always strongly encourage me to double-check my answers. I never did. I never saw the point. Well today I double-checked my ballot FOUR TIMES. I was convinced that while I was looking at the other ballot issues, my Kerry vote would surreptitiously change to a Bush vote. But everything looked fine so I hit the VOTE button and walked over to the table to grab my "I voted" sticker which I will wear proudly all day. The little old lady at the judges' desk smiled at me and said "Good for you, honey." Yes, good for me. Good for Kerry. Good for our country. We shall overcome, baby!

So, I'm in the library today doing what I usually do when I have some downtime. Thinking about Gary. (isn't that gross? Love can make you stupid sometimes.)

There are these great lyrics in Heather Combs' song "Hold Me Now" that make me think of him.

"so afraid of everything i feel but wanting you with all my might
and this is not what i expected, oh but you turned my head
this is not what i expected, it's everything i've needed

it's the way you touch me
the way you see my heart
the way you whisper my name
when we're lying in the dark
the way you take my words
and keep the secrets that you know
the way you hold me
baby don't you let me go"

I think part of me is always asking Gary not to let me go. Maybe I'm having trouble reconciling my little brain to the idea that someone as wonderful as him isn't going to disappear in a puff of smoke. This is certainly not what I expected. But it truly is everything I needed.

So, I spent part of my Sunday yesterday going door to door for the Kerry campaign. It's kind of an interesting experience. You get a little clipboard that lists addresses on it. For each address, the adult voters are listed and it tells you which party they are affiliated with. I'm a pretty shy person so the whole experience was pretty stressful. You never know if you are going to piss people off. Not many people were home but of the ones who were, every one was a Kerry supporter. Including those listed as unaffiliated/undecided. It made me feel very hopeful about the election. I will also be volunteering on election day. It's the big push!

I cancelled my subscriptions to the Denver Post/Rocky Mountain News this morning. They both came out endorsing Bush. But the surprising thing was that the editorials were very negative about Bush. Basically, they spent the whole endorsement saying how bad he is and then they endorsed him! I feel they cannot be fair and balanced. Ever since Reagan got rid of the Fairness in media, our media outlets are controlled by a few. We can't get any real unbiased reporting anymore. I have to read the Guardian online to get any decent news about my own country. How sad is that?

Anyway, I'm feeling more confident than ever that Kerry will win. How anyone can still be a Bush supporter after everything that has come to light about him amazes me. I'm not saying people need to be Kerry supporters. But how can anyone in good conscience vote for Bush? I don't get it. Are they just that ignorant and uninformed? It's really amazing.

So, today I'm in the library alone. We're closed on Fridays and Greg and I trade off going in and doing delivery and the bookdrop. It's kind of nice because I can listen to music or NPR while I work and there is no one around to bother me. Specifically...customers.

Today, I'm listening to my new CD "Heather Combs Band Live at the Little Fox." Heather is a friend of Gary's and her band is quite popular in the Bay Area. He took me to see them play and they were great! I was so impressed I decided I had to have all of their CDs. They have such a great rockin' sound and, on top of that, all of them are so nice. They have all been really welcoming and warm towards me and I appreciate that. Heather even joked that she would play at my and Gary's wedding someday. It's nice to be able to mark that off the list! ;)

Anyway, if you're looking for something new to listen to, check out their website in my blog links. Also, if you're in the Bay Area, go to their show. You won't be disappointed.

So, I was privileged enough to be invited to a wedding between two women in Reno a few weeks ago. And it was probably the most heartfelt wedding I have ever been to. One of the women heads up a very successful band in San Francisco and the other is a successful Abstract Expressionist artist. So, the whole event was pretty creative.

As I sat there during the ceremony, it didn't seem strange to me at all. All I saw was two people in love making a commitment to each other in front of family and friends. It was wonderful. They weren't doing it because society expected it of them or because it was the conventional thing to do. They did it out of sincere love and commitment for one another.

I've seen lots of heterosexual marriages I don't respect. It seems that divorce and infidelity are becoming the standards of the day. Marriage is tough. Really hard work I feel that if people actually want to go through all of that together, they should be allowed to. It's not let heterosexuals are setting a particularly good example.

And if some of you are so concerned about defining marriage as being between a man and woman that you need an amendment about it. Fine. But then you must start giving homosexual couples the same rights as married ones. Even if you don't define them as married. Because it's the right thing to do and our country wasn't founded on discrimination. We need equality across the board and true liberty and justice for ALL.

Well, tonight is the next debate! I'm looking forward to it!

I watched the premiere episodes of "Desperate Housewives" last night and I really liked it. But it got me thinking about a subject that has been running around in my head lately.

On Alanis Morrisette's new albums, there is a line in the first song that says,
"How to hate women when you're supposed to be a feminist."

Why is this such a problem for women? I saw an episode of "The Apprentice" and the women's team is always fighting and bitching and back-stabbing each other. Can we not work together and support each other? Why do we always have to be so competitive and catty with one another? Even without meaning to I think we sometimes find ourselves silently criticizing other women's appearances. Their clothes. Their makeup. Their hair. Their weight. Especially their weight! And we are quick to label each other bitches and sluts and battleaxes and bimbos.

These days, we are taught to be strong and independent. But we try so hard to fulfill those roles that we often cannot work together. Given a choice to be on an all-female team or be the only female on an all-male team, I would choose the all-male team. I find my friendships with the men in my life to be so much easier. And I'm not sure why. Maybe men are just more upfront about who they are and what they are thinking.

There is a book that came out a few years ago called "Woman's Inhumanity to Woman" about this phenomenon where women are no longer supportive of one another but in constant competition with each other. I wish we could start working on this. It's time for us to be supportive of one another instead of tearing each other down.