This has been a very difficult year for lovers. So many relationships have ended. Even some in my immediate circle. Losing a love is very much like a death. You go through a grieving period for what is lost. Some close friends ended their relationship this weekend and it was so shocking. I have seldom seen two people more in love or more perfect for one another. And when you see something like this happen, you start to worry. "If it can happen to them..."
But perhaps it is just time to focus on being thankful for what one has. And I am very thankful for Gary. And I am very sad for those who have lost their loves this year. And I hope that 2006 will bring love back into their lives.
Until then, I offer this Neruda poem to those grieving the loss of their loves in general and to H. in particular...
Tonight I Can Write the Saddest Lines
Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
Write for example, 'The night is shattered
and the blue stars shiver in the distance.'
The night wind revolves in the sky and sings.
Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too.
Through nights like this one I held her in my arms.
I kissed her again and again under the endless sky.
She loved me, sometimes I loved her too.
How could one not have loved her great still eyes.
Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
To think that I do not have her. To feel that I have lost her.
To hear immense night, still more immense without her.
And the verse falls to the soul like dew to a pasture.
What does it matter that my love could not keep her.
The night is shattered and she is not with me.
This is all. In the distance someone is singing. In the distance.
My soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.
My sight searches for her as though to go to her.
My heart looks for her, and she is not with me.
The same night whitening the same trees.
We, of that time, are no longer the same.
I no longer love her, that's certain, but how I loved her.
My voice tried to find the wind to touch her hearing.
Another's. She will be another's. Like my kisses before.
Her voice. Her bright body. Her infinite eyes.
I no longer love her, that's certain, but maybe I love her.
Love is short, forgetting is so long.
Because through nights like this one I held her in my arms
my soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.
Though this be the last pain that she makes me suffer
and these the last verses that I write for her.
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