life by candlelight

Just got back from Texas and had a really good time. It was great to be able to give Gary a little thumbnail tour of where I come from. I really miss it. But not the heat. It hovered around 100 degrees the whole time we were there. We spent one day in San Antonio and I was surprised at how much my univeristy, Trinity, has changed. I was there eight years ago and yet so much building has gone on that I hardly recognize large parts of it.

It is strange to think that less than a year from now Gary and I will be married. I'm really looking forward to it. It will be so great to have all of our friends and family together. It's difficult to plan the ceremony since Gary and I are people of different beliefs. I am very lucky that Gary is so respectful of my beliefs. Some people have told me that Gary will try and change me and prevent me from practicing my faith. I don't believe that. And if people really think I am so poor in spirit that I would give up my faith for anyone, then that really shames me. God brought Gary and I together for a reason. I truly believe that. And it will all be revealed in time. In the meantime, I will do my best to be an example for Gary and my friends who are not Christian. Which is actually pretty sad when I think about it. I don't feel like I'm a good example. I have temper problems and no patience at all. I tend to get really self-centered and forget to love my fellow human beings as I should. I really really struggle in trying to follow Christ's example and I feel like I really fall short of the mark. But I try.

In my bible study, we've been talking about the concept of grace and how hard it is for people (even Christians) to accept that idea. In the book, the author describes grace like this:

You got to school for the first time and you are feeling really nervous and inadequate. It almost seems like a sham that you are even in the classroom because you feel like you don't measure up and you'll never be able to keep up with the others. Then, the teacher comes in, looks at you and the others and says, "I'm giving you all an "A". Now, just do your best."

As human beings, God comes in right away and gives us all an "A." No matter what. All He asks is that we do our best. Sounds easy, right? Not really. But it's nice to know that God believes in us. And He'll never give up on us, either. I find that really comforting.