Wednesday, August 31, 2005

So, I have been trying to come up with a description of what depression feels like for me and I have finally come up with a lengthy metaphor. Here it goes....

I'm going down the road happy as a clam and all of a sudden I find myself in a long dark tunnel. It wasn't on the map. It seemed to appear out of nowhere. I try not to panic because I figure I'll see the light at the end of the tunnel soon but it is nowhere in sight. In the meantime, I discover that this tunnel is filled with a thick viscous pitch from roadwork. I get completely bogged down in it. I keep trying to fight my way forward but I'm held back by the muck I'm trapped in. I really want help. I want someone to come in and help me to pull myself out but at the same time I push them away because I don't want them to get pulled down by the muck as well. So, I keep slogging through the pitch trying to see the light at the end of the tunnel. In the meantime, I hear people outside of the tunnel asking me how I got in there in the first place. And I get frustrated because I have no idea and I'm too busy trying to concentrate on getting out to explain the path I took to get in this mess. I just know that as long as I keep moving, I will eventually find my way out.

And that is what depression is like for me. I can almost see a Reign of Ellen cartoon with me in it covered in pitch with a grumpy look on my face.

3 comments:

Ellen said...

Actually, I kind of did a cartoon similiar to this. I'll have Jason put in on my blog.

Genevieve said...

to me, it feels like I've pressed pause on my life and I can't figure out how to press play again.

Malady said...

I really like the cartoon, Frank. Sometimes the hardest part is asking for help!