Tuesday, September 30, 2003

I'm looking out the window at work today and enjoying the change in the weather. It looks rainy outside but it's not. Only the suggestion of rain. It looks warm outside but it's not. People are wearing light jackets. I love the fall. My favorite season. The air gets crisp and clean. You can be outside without getting sweaty. The colors of the leaves changing. Pumpkin pie. Curling up with a book by the fire. Hot chocolate. Holiday shopping. I know that seems early for some of you but one of my favorite things in life is buying presents for the people I love. I already have about half of my Christmas shopping done. I really shouldn't start so early. I'm a cynic/pragmatist and I realize I could be left with useless presents if any friendship/relationships dissolve by December 25. My mother is convinced I treat my boyfriend badly. That is not true. I just don't choose to get all gushy and ridiculous about my relationship. I've been through two others that I felt extremely optimistic about that didn't pan out. So, why get excited about this one? Not everyone gets a happy ending. Not everyone gets married and has 2.5 children. Why set yourself up for disappointment? I went to see "Under the Tuscan Sun" which I enjoyed surprisingly enough. I think the ending was a cop-out. It would have been better if she had ended up alone. That would be more honest. I can visualize myself in a lovely house in a foreign country. Filling it with friends and food and family and pets. That wouldn't be an empty life. Even if there wasn't a husband or children in it.

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