Tuesday, December 09, 2003

I think I may be having a minor crisis of faith. A crisis in my faith in God because sometimes it is hard to trust that everything happens for a reason and that there is a master plan. A crisis in my faith in others because I feel my expectations are too high and I always get let down. And people never react in the way that I think they will. A crisis in my faith in myself because I'm really unhappy with the way I've been acting and I hate my physical appearance right now. It's like all of the uglies and nasties inside of me have come out. I'm grumpy, irritable, quick to anger, prone to depression, susceptible to envy. All the things I most hate about myself. And I've also lost my Christmas spirit. I'm not a well woman. But I'm hoping for a Christmas miracle.

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