Hi everybody. I hope you all had a lovely Easter. I know back home in Texas and in Denver it was pretty cold!!!!
Over the weekend, I read a book called ARLINGTON PARK by Rachel Cusk. It was short but quite good. She has a way of putting things that are just wonderful. The book is basically a snapshot of the lives of several women on one rainy day in a suburb of London. All the women are leading lives of quiet desperation. Kind of like a British "Desperate Housewives." But a lot darker. The book kind of made me depressed.
I think one of the problems for women today is that we have the opportunity to do so many things and we are getting married later in life. I think men fall in love with a woman at a certain stage in her life and when that state of being changes, it can cause problems for both of them. For example, what if a man falls for a women who is a high-powered lawyer. A very independent person who does her own thing. They get married in their thirties. Then, they have kids and the woman decides to be a stay-at-home mom. She thinks she wants the Martha Stewart version of life. But then, she starts to feel stifle and un-fulfilled. She starts blaming her husband and her kids. On the other side, her husband looks at this woman who drives the kids around town in her mini-van and scrubs the floor and thinks "where did the high-powered lawyer I married go?" They are no longer the same people they were when they were married. Can divorce be far behind?
I guess this is kind of what made me reluctant to get married. I worried that I would lose my independence and my sense of self. And, in some ways, I have given some of that up. I lived alone for almost ten years before I got married. When a tire needed changing, I did it. When something broke on my house, I fixed it. Now, I find I rely on my husband a lot. There's something nice about being cared for and caring for someone else. But it's hard for me to step back and give up some of that control. And then I worry what it means if I do. I blogged recently about how I'm feeling more domestic these days. And I don't think that is a bad thing. I guess I just worry about losing the person that my husband fell in love with.