Thursday, May 03, 2007

Missing You

My new internet buddy Jasclo just experienced a loss this week. She left a beautiful post about her grandmother who just passed away. And it got me thinking about the losses I have experienced.

I lost all of my grandparents between 1992 and 1997. In 1999, my father was hit by a car while walking across the street and was killed. I have no siblings and I am the only child of an only child, so it is just me and my Mom now. Everyone experiences loss. That's nothing new. Just one of those facts of life that we can't avoid. But it never gets any easier.

I was very very close to my maternal grandparents. I called them "MawMaw" and "PawPaw." They have been on my mind a great deal lately because the place I live now is very similar to the place my grandparents lived. Waco, Texas. When my mom was young, my grandparents had a farm with chickens, a great big bull named Jason, a few collie dogs and a car named "Rattle Ella." When I was little, they lived in Waco proper on an acre of land. They still had chickens and a garden. There are photos of me with a bonnet on my head helping PawPaw with the corn and the tomatoes. MawMaw was a wonderful cook and she sewed and tatted lace. They were both very active in church and community. PawPaw served in the state legislature. They were amazing people.

As I drive around my new home, I think of how much my grandparents would have enjoyed visiting me here. And I feel robbed of their presence. I deserved more time with them. Losing MawMaw at 17 and PawPaw at 21 was just too early. Losing my other grandparents and my father by 24 was almost too much. But even in that short time, they all had a profound impact on me. And I think of them all often. And I keep their memories alive.

Jasclo reminded me today how important to is to talk about the people we have loved and to remember them. So, I'm going to do that. And maybe I'll post a photo or two as well.


Gary said...

Those are beautiful memories. Thank you for sharing them.

Bookfool said...

Lovely post. I don't think a lot of people realize just how lucky they are to have grandparents. I only had one remaining by age 10 and she was 300 miles away. That grandmother died when I was 26 and I lost my father the next year, when I was 27. And, so weird, one of my grandmothers died after being hit by a car while crossing the street. Wow. Thanks so much for sharing. I don't feel quite so alone, now!!!