Saturday, February 14, 2004

So, first of all, I think I should being by saying that even though I am grumpy, embittered, irritable and marginally depressed right now, I still realize how many fabulous people I DO have in my life. I hope you all know that you are more than friends. You are my family.

I have mentioned this before but I'd just like to bring up the power of fashion again. I really like to shop. I don't like staying in a store for hours trying things on, though. I make quick decisions. Mostly, I like shopping for other people. But occasionally, finding just the right item can really give you a boost. Sara and I went to a special event a DKNY on Thursday and each picked up a fabulous handbag. Now I now some of you think we're crazy, but those bags really made us happy. There are some items that you just know are going to make you look good. For example, two years ago I got these great sandals at Nine West. I felt really good wearing them. They gave me confidence. I thought everyone must be staring at me in my fabulous sandals. Of course, that's crazy but that's how I felt. Well, my ex-boyfriend Nick and I were walking across the street one evening to eat at Stella's Trattoria and this couple pulled over their car to tell me they thought my shoes were great. So, maybe sometimes people do notice. And then you get the extra boost from a compliment. That's how I felt today. My plans changed and I was bummed so I got dressed up in some of my old favorite heels, my new DKNY jacket and handbag and this necklace I hadn't worn yet. I just wanted to walk aroud the mall a bit. I felt like I looked pretty good and my confidence was up. And I felt a few people take a second look at me and that felt good. I think that is what fashion can give you. It allows you to express yourself, in some ways define yourself and can give you that extra jolt of confidence and self-esteem. And I don't see anything wrong with that.

By the way, I delivered my pediatric chemotherapy/radiation care packages yesterday. I saw a few given out to three kids under 5 who were there for treatment. It brought tears to my eyes. These kids are so sick and so brave and they seemed so excited to get these bags we had put together. I hope it brought a little joy to their lives. My boyfriend thinks I'm crazy for getting upset about people I don't even know, but I believe that if we are ever going to truly be a community, we need to have empathy for one another. I think I may look into volunteering at the Children's Hospital.

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