First of all, thank you to my friends who left such nice advice on my blog. Without judgment. I know I keep returning to that same theme and it makes me feel like a broken record. But I really am putting myself out there and trying to meet people and make friends. I have decided to be proactive and invite one of the ladies of the club over for dinner on Friday night along with her husband. The only way I'm going to get closer to people is to make definitive plans. I'll let you know how it goes.
Ellen reminded me that I forgot to blog about the holiday party I attended back in Texas. Even since we graduated from high school, my English teacher has invited the former literary board over to her house for a holiday party. When my mother was still living in Dallas, I attended the party every year that I was home for Christmas. It has always been an eventful party. In fact, one year, I went with my friend B. who had recently come out of the closet. We were both nervous about seeing all of our high school classmates again and stayed close to one another. Our former teacher assumed that we were dating. It was so awkward. B. and I would often joke and play off of each other to the crowd. He was more of the "straight man" and I was more of the goofball. Although, I always thought he could be wickedly funny. So, as we are joking around and entertaining the group, our former teacher says, "I see who the straight man is in this act," meaning B. I inadvertantly said, 'Well....." In my mind, I was thinking that B. was really the funny one. But I instantly realized that it was construed as something else. The room got quiet and you could see realization dawning on my teacher's face. I had accidentally OUTED my friend!!! When we finally left, I started crying. I felt so bad. B. wasn't mad. He actually thought the whole thing was funny. Anyway, long story short, these events have always been memorable.
Well, you may recall in past posts that I have been grieving over my friendship with B. He dropped me for no apparent reason. The planets aligned where I was actually able to attend the yearly get-together at my teacher's house this year and I saw on the guest list that B. was going to be there. I really hemmed and hawed over this. I didn't want to go because I was afraid to be around him. Ultimately, people convinced me that I should go. I guess word got out that I would be there. Because, B. DID NOT SHOW UP. After all of that. The party was fine and Gary got to meet a few of the people I went to high school with. And my teacher was as sweet as always. But it's pretty awful to think that someone wants to avoid you so much, he wouldn't show up to a party he had already RSVP'd to. I must be a pretty terrible person, huh?
I have spent the last year trying to reach out to people that I have had "fallings out" with. I have decided that life is too short not to try and make peace with people. Three of them responded positively and I feel good about that. Two of them (B. being one of them) have chosen not to respond. And I guess I have to just realize that there is only so much you can do. But at least I tried.
In weekend news, I saw "Volver" which was GREAT! And I attended my last knitting class. I learned how to cable which is really fun. And I finished my first sock and cast-on for my second one. I'm not convinced I like sock-knitting. I find it really frustrating. But I will keep working at it. I am determined to finish all of the projects I'm currently working on before starting anything else.