life by candlelight

So, here's part two in my self-image series.

Until I was about 22 or 23, I didn't care much about clothes. In fact, my mom was mostly responsible for my clothing. When I was in college, she'd send me care packages full of clothes that she'd find on sale. She knew my size and my taste so it worked out well. I didn't start caring about all of that until I broke up with my boyfriend in 2001. Then, I felt this tremendous need to re-invent myself. I've been doing that ever since. I find it really comforting to go walk around the mall. Even if I don't buy anything. Part of me deep down believes that if I get just the right outfit or just the right look, it will boost my self-esteem. And sometimes it does. If I get a really great outfit and wear it out, it really does make me feel good and confident. I love going through "Elle" and "Vogue" to check out the new fashion trends. I won't adopt them but it's fun to see. And I love the designers Vera Wang and Narciso Rodriguez so I always look for their clothes. As Romy and Michele pointed out, fashion is a great way to express yourself. But it also makes the need to get another ego-boosting outfit that much greater. Shopping has become the quest for the next reinvention of self. The next boost for my self-image. And that isn't always a good thing when you are trying to live on a budget.