Saturday, January 03, 2004

We all have different ways of dealing with difficult times. Sometimes, when I feel down, I like to go walk around the shopping mall. I don't always buy anything. But sometimes it's nice to be around people. Especially people who aren't asking anything of you or making any demands on you. And people usually seem in pretty good spirits when they are shopping.

I also enjoy books and movies as escapism. C.S. Lewis said, "we read to know that we are not alone." I think we see movies for the same reason. Watching "Scrooged" again this year for the zillionith time, I was struck by the line where Frank says "Scrape them off. You wanna save someone, save yourself." It can be very hard sometimes when you feel the need to make everyone happy. I tried to do that New Year's Eve and no one ended up having a good time. Including me. And then the evening ended tragically with a friend's attempted suicide. Which made a line from a movie I saw today resonate. I saw "Mona Lisa Smile." Only an okay movie. But Katherine responds when asked how she feels, "Stupid. Deceived. Very very angry." That's kind of how I feel right now. But I know we'll all get through it with the right support and lots of prayers.

In the meantime, I will find solace in my books. And my movies. And my loved ones.

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