Monday, March 15, 2004

So, in one of my Lenten devotionals I've been reading, the writer talks about how other people (especially his wife) become mirrors for him. You can see the effects of your actions and choices mirrored in others. I have very specific ideas about how I want to comport myself. And sometimes, I think I am living according to those standards but when I see myself mirrored in the people around me, I haven't been. Anyone who knows me knows that one of my biggest fears in life....the one thing I really can't the thought of intentionally hurting someone's feelings. Even with the people I dislike most in the world. To me, it's one thing for someone to get angry with you. I can deal with that. But to hurt someone. That to me is the worst thing you can do. And I have recently been accused of deliberately hurting someone's feelings and that is devastating to me. Especially because this person believes I do it intentionally and with frequency. That is not who I am. And I can't believe anyone, especially someone who knows me, could believe that I would intentionally do something like that. But maybe sometimes people don't know us as well as we think they do.

I actually had a really nice Saturday. I spent the whole day with my friend Amy. We had a nice lunch and hit a bunch of consignments shops. That night, our friend Chucky took us to dinner and a show. "Patsy DeCline." The show sort of makes fun of country music. We had a good time. I wish things could always be that effortlessly fun. Just to be able to enjoy the company of your friends without drama.

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