Friday, April 09, 2004

So, the new "Alamo" movie opens tonight. I'd really like to go home, put on my cowgirl boots and my Texas t-shirt and head over to the theater. But it has been rainy and cold all day and it may start snowing soon. They are predicting 3-5 inches. That is lousy Easter weather if you ask me. I may end up just going home and heading to bed early with a book.

I was listening to Jodee Messina today in the car (one of the few country singers I actually like) and she has this great song with the following refrain:

"I want a man who stands beside me. Not in front of or behind me. Give me two arms that wanna hold me, not own me, and I'll give all the love in my heart."

I really like that. That is exactly what I have been looking for. Unfortunately, I've had men who want to stand in front of me quite often. I am too independent for that and one of my greatest fears is being forced into a housewife role. And right now, I'm with someone who sort of stands behind me. Content to let me be in the forefront and control everything. That's not particularly great either. My friend Greg says I'm just too independent. It's hard for me to let anyone in or to give up control in the least. I hate that. Maybe I'm just strong-willed. Or maybe it's being an only child. But I certainly wasn't raised to be submissive or shrinking. I am opinionated, outspoken, and (lately) quick to anger. But I am also loyal, loving, generous and (sometimes) fun-loving. It makes for a weird combination.

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