I have been reading this new book called THE JANE AUSTEN BOOK CLUB by Karen Joy Fowler and it has a character that sounds very familiar. Check out these excerpts:

"Allegra was a creature of extremes--either stuffed or starving, freezing or boiling, exhausted or electric with energy."

"Allegra...felt things very deeply. It was one of her delightful qualities; she wept with those who wept."

"While Allegra sometimes felt things so deeply you ended up consoling her even when the tragedy was entirely your own."

"In fact, Allegra had instantly recognized herself in the sour Mr. Palmer. She, too, often thought of sharp things to say, and she said them more often than she wished. Mr. Palmer didn't suffer fools and neither did Allegra, but it wasn't something she was proud of. It didn't spring, as Austen suggested, from the desire to appear superior, unless lack of patience was a superior quality."

Yep. That's me. I'm Allegra. In a nutshell.

So, we had our annual Red Dress run yesterday with my hash group. It is always delightful to see these beefy male runners wearing red dresses. I got some great pictures. After that, my friend Chucky (who is beyond generous) took me and two other women to see the new Cirque du Soleil show. We went VIP and it was so much fun! I even had my own umbrella man who walked me between tents in the rain. I felt like a celebrity. The show was wonderful. What a great way to showcase the magnificence of the human body. I wish I could be that strong and flexible.

After my wild weekend, I started thinking more about my Janus lifestyle. If I believed in astrology, I'd say that I'm a true Gemini. I've talked about the dichotomy in my life before but I have a new idea about it. I've always found it difficult to be someone who hangs out at clubs, attends a running and drinking group and has a liberal mentality as well as someone who is tender-hearted, a Sunday school teacher and a proper Junior League lady. This is why I cannot find a Christian man. Because I am too wild for those men. Christianity and my liberal lifestyle don't seem to mix. But then, what if God is using me in a special way. What if I am an example for all those people who are afraid of Christianity because it is too uptight or narrow. What if I'm meant to draw more people in because of my semi-unique way of life and morality? Then again, I'm sure many of my Christian friends would say I'm just trying to justify my sinful lifestyle. But it's still something to think about.

So, we couldn't get into FAHRENHEIT last night. Big surprise. The line went around the block. So, we saw THE TERMINAL instead. I know it has gotten bad reviews but I really liked it. It made me very sad, though. It really demonstrated how hard it can be to be in a foreign country not knowing the language or anyone else. I felt so sad for Tom Hank's character. It was so upsetting to see how immigrants and foreigners were treated in that movie.

So, it's Friday and I already feel like I've had a full weekend. Last night, I went on a blind date with a guy named Brian. He seemed nice but the jury is still out. I went to the local Greek Festival today with some friends and filled up on chicken souvlaki and some really yummy doughy ball things soaked in honey. After that, I headed to Buskerfest downtown to volunteer for the Buntport Theater. (Buskerfest is a festival for street performers) We were manning the beverage booth and tips and 15% of profits went to Buntport. Now, I am getting ready to meet Brian (date #2!) to see FAHRENHEIT 9/11 and I'm really excited about it. I hope it's good. I'll let you all know.

Tomorrow, I work. Sigh. But then my friend Amy is having a birthday party for our friend Marc. Fun! Sunday, we have our annual Red Dress run for the hash. It coincides with Buskerfest and Pride Fest so that should be interesting. Then, my friend Chucky is taking a few of us to see the new Cirque du Soleil show. He got us VIP tickets and I've never done that before so it should be fun. And then, of course, my weekend will end with Sunday night HBO. Don't ever call me on a Sunday night. I won't answer. I don't watch a lot of t.v., but I love my HBO!

So, I'm going to say something a little bit shocking here. Get ready...

The DA VINCI CODE is one of the most overrated books in the history of the written word. I am sick to death of hearing about it and even seeing it.

I read the book in June 2003 before it got really popular. I took it with me to L.A. when I was visiting my friend Maya and read it in about two days. It was a fun fluffy beach read kind of book. Entertaining and fast-paced. But not even close to great literature. There were big inconsistencies, underdeveloped plot lines and overuse of adverbs. It was something on a par with a John Grisham book. But people are treating it as the most life-changing book to come around in recent years. Are we that starved for spiritual fulfillment that we have to look at an action page-turner for enlightenment. Come on, people! Will it really take Oprah to get us back to the classics and great literature? That's pretty sad.

So, I've been reading both of Janice Dickinson's autobiographies. She's an interesting woman. So arrogant and condescending that you want to hate her. But so confident you are kind of impressed by her too. She insists on being herself and I respect that.

Anyway, in NO LIFEGUARD ON DUTY, her friend Alexandra King makes an interesting and amusing observation about men.

"It's like this, see: A man meets a girl and thinks, 'Wow, she is hot and mysterious and exotic and a little dangerous. I am WAY turned on by this bitch.' So they jump into bed and start hanging out and before you know it she's less hot and less exotic and not much of a mystery at all. In fact, she's become completely domesticated. And he looks at her and wonders 'what am I doing with this crashing bore?'"

I think that is how it goes for a lot of us. And that's why long-term relationships can be so tough. Maybe.

My friend Sara sent me this great quote that goes with my blog yesterday:

"Okay, conservatives have changed my mind. Allowing gay marriage, I have been persuaded, will destroy the family, weaken Western civilization, turn America into Sodom and Gomorrah, increase the trade deficit with Japan, endanger the family farm and promote tooth decay. The impeccable logic of conservative opponents is simply too powerful to deny."
--Stephen Chapman, Chicago Tribune columnist

So, you'll have to pardon me as I get out my stepping stool and climb onto my high horse but I'm all fired up about something I found in my mailbox today.

We have a Christian bookstore here called Lifeway. It's a decent store although not as good as some we have in Dallas. They periodically send me circulars in the mail and I got one today. I thought I'd thumb through it and see what new Christian literature was out. But I was flabbergasted to see Dr. James Dobson's new book "Marriage Under Fire." Here's what the blurb says:

"For the past 40 years, the homosexual activist movement has sought to implement a master plan to utterly destroy the family. And in his newest release, Dr. James Dobson addresses the dire ramifications of judicial activism and presents a compelling argument against the legalization of homosexual unions--mobilizing the Christian community to respond to a call of action."

It is stuff like this that makes me embarrassed to be a Christian. First of all, I have never heard of this homosexual master plan. And having quite a few gay friends, I'm sure I would have by now. Second of all, what exactly are Christians afraid of? That the human species will come to an end? We are already overpopulated as it is. Third, the real threat to marriage is promiscuity and lack of monogamy. And those are perpetrated by heterosexuals as well as homosexuals. Wouldn't we rather want to see individuals in loving committed relationships than people out having random meaningless sex? This book and agenda are absolutely ridiculous. Christians should more concerned about things like poverty, poor education and healthcare of children, the fact that we cannot solve the problem of scores of mentally ill people living on the streets, the squalor of low-income housing. Get out of people's bedrooms and start worrying about what is happening on the streets right in front of your eyes, people!

I just finished watching "50 First Dates." I expected it to be horrible but it was actually quite sweet. It made me feel a little melancholy for some reason, though. So I thought I'd surf the internet a bit before bed. I popped in my Everything But the Girl cd "Amplified Heart" for good measure. My friend Brad gave me that cd in college and it is one of my most cherished. The kind of cd that you put away for months or even years and then get the fun of rediscovering it all over again. I've mentioned before how I'd like to have a soundtrack for my life. Wouldn't that be great. Then people could infer your feelings or thoughts by the music that followed you around. My theme song right now is "Extraordinary" by Liz Phair so if y'all hear that song, think of me.

So, the rain continues to come down here. I'm not complaining. We certainly need it. But all this rain is making me sleepy.

I tried Match.com about 2 years ago and thought I'd see if my profile was still there. It was. But it was hidden. Match has changed a lot in the last few years. Now they have all these compatability tests for you to take. I love taking tests and quizzes so I thought I'd give it a try. The most interesting one involved looking at photographs of various male models and choosing which one you found more attractive. I did what I was told and then the assessment basically said I was very picky and stopped jut short of calling me shallow. It said I liked the best-looking of the men. The typical male-model type. Well, duh. If I'm told to only pick men based on looks, I will naturally choose hunky strong-jawed types. But there is a lot more to attractiveness than just looks. As I said in a previous blog, confidence is very sexy. And intelligence. And a sense of humor. There is a very complicated formula for attraction. It's based on a lot more than looks. But if I have to pick on looks alone, I'm sorry, I'm going for Viggo Mortensen and Hugh Jackman. If that makes me shallow, so be it.

Last night, I went to the "Do at the Zoo" fundraiser with Amy. It was delightful. Lots of good food and alcohol and even some cheesy 80's music. We got to see the new Predator Ridge habitat and they had lots of animals out for you to interact with. We even got to see the new baby gorilla.

Today, I'm in a rotten mood. I can't wait to go home and get in bed. I am so sick of dating. I hate it. I think one of the main irritating parts of dating is the falsity of it all. Everyone is on his or her best behavior so it's hard to see how they really are. No one says what they are really thinking so you are left guessing. I wish people would just come right out and say what's on their mind. I think that will be my new policy. Full disclosure. In the meantime, I'm going to channel my inner Lara Croft and focus on other things like gym time. Dating be damned!

Which Office Moron Are You?
Rum and Monkey: jamming your photocopier one tray at a time.

It is raining and thundering outside. And I love it. I think that song "Only Happy When It Rains" was written for me. I certainly sleep better when it rains. I've always loved the rain. Especially when the thunder and lightning are so strong, they shake the house. Woo hoo!

A volunteer that I used to work with at the library named Barbara J. passed away last night. She was such a vibrant interesting person and it's hard to think that she won't be at Virginia Village anymore teaching senior citizens how to use the internet. She couldn't have been older than her early sixties. I look at some senior citizens that come into the library looking frail and old and think about how that is what 60 or 65 looks like. But then I think about people like Barbara J. and my mother and her peer group who are in their late fifties, early sixties and think about how vibrant they are. They are all fit and active and young looking. It's the new way to grow old gracefully. And I don't think it is just a matter of Botox and plastic surgery. I think people are working out, eating better and staying active in their community. And it keeps them young. For a lot of these people, 60 doesn't look like 60 anymore. And maybe that's a good sign for all of us "Quarter plus century" people.

We have a new fundraiser this year in the Junior League. The Kitchen Tour. Basically, you pay a fee and get a ticket which gets you entry into five different homes with fabulous showcase kitchens. Amy and I bought the special ticket that included brunch. We started out at the Welshire Inn for the brunch where we got goodie bags of freebies and a copy of Colorado Homes and Lifestyles magazine which featured the kitchen tour. Then, you could drive to the homes in any order. Each home had either the architect or designer on hand to talk about special innovations etc. Some houses had special coffee, cake or cookie vendors with samples. And different florists did the flowers in each house. It was fun to see how the other half lives. The best house was a historical house that used to be the HQ of Outward Bound. This cute gay couple bought it and renovated it. It was gorgeous! Hard to believe all 10,000 sq ft was for one couple and their son! I told Amy we needed to become friends with that couple because I bet they throw fabulous parties.

I love my house but it would be nice to be in a detached building. I'd love to have a yard or large patio where I could entertain. And have a dog. But I don't think I could maintain that all by myself.

So, Chuck and I went to see the "Chronicles of Riddick" last night. (Don't make fun...that's what nerds do when they date) I'd have to give it a B-. The special effects were good and it was a great role for Diesel but it was often boring. And a little overwrought. But that's how those movies are sometimes. I'm thinking of seeing "Stepford Wives" tonight even though it got a bad review. I have the Junior League Kitchen Tour tomorrow. Hopefully, it will be fun!

I'm facing a sad reality. It's one things for your friends to get married and start having babies. That's great. It's nice to see your friends growing up and settling down. But the problem comes when you can't seem to achieve that and you are the last woman standing. So to speak. Your friends have given up former pursuits like going out to bars and going dancing. And staying up late. Because they have settled down and gotten married. But when you are the only single gal left, you have to give up those things too. Because you can't really do them alone and no one is left to do them with you. I really miss those times of going out and being crazy. And it is really hard to meet anyone when you don't go out because my friends don't really know any single men either. So, I am almost forced into being a homebody now. And I like that most of the time. But lately, it's getting kinda lonely.

Have you ever wanted to own stock in a celebrity? Now you can. Virtually. My friend Vieve turned me on to this new fun game on the interent called Celebdaq where you can buy shares in celebrities and watch their stock (and yours) rise and fall. Andy, I think you might like this one.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/celebdaq/

Too fun! I made this one.

Pro. Frink Chalkboard Generator

Whew! What a week! It is weeks like this one that make me wonder if I can last in my job much longer.

We had only 4 out of 20 computers up on Monday, no internet and no air conditioning. When it hit 95 inside our building, they finally shut us down. But we had already been working for 5 hours so we stunk and were drenched with sweat. Not to mention exhausted. I went to the doctor that day because my wrist is causing me a lot of pain. They decided it wasn't fractured but may be a pulled ligament/tendon which is just as painful. It makes it hard to do my job with this silly brace on.

Monday night, I went out with Chuck (not to be confused with my friend Chucky) to hear a band play. The bands were good but the crowd was young. Really young. It made me feel like we were as old as the hills. The date went pretty well. I'll keep you posted as things develop. Hopefully.

The other bummer about my job is the nagging about our Summer Reading Program. The greed of our customers is staggering. All they want to know is what the kids get. I want to say, "the knowledge that reading is its own reward" but I can't say that. They have all been outraged that we are not giving out Six Flags tickets this year. Hey, ever heard of reading for fun? People make me sick sometimes.

So, I took my friend Chucky to see a new musical called "Nat King Cole and Me: A Musical Healing " last night. And it really was a musical healing. I have always loved Nat King Cole, In fact, the first Christmas present I ever remember asking for was a Nat King Cole record. And I wore that thing out. The musical could have been more well-developed. It ended up being more of a tribute than a story. But I really enjoyed the music. It lifted my spirits. I'd forgotten how much I love songs like "Pretend" and "Mona Lisa." Sometimes I feel like the Mona Lisa he describes in the song.

So, the hash weekend went well. For those of you who don't know, the Hash House Harriers is an international running and drinking social club. A group of us from Texas and Colorado met in Santa Fe for trails, drinking and general debauchery. A few of us went rafting on the Rio Grande on Friday in Class 4 rapids. It was scary. Four out of six of us fell out. (I stayed in, though!) We did trails on Saturday and Sunday and even hit a blues festival in Madrid on Sunday. It turned out to be a giant dust bowl, though. The wind was relentless. Still, the hashers are some of the nicest most non-judgmental people I know. They are always welcoming and always make the best of any situation. I look forward to the next big event in Winter Park over Labor Day weekend.

I'm still feeling pissed off and generally misanthropic. Please send good thought my way so I can get out of this funk. I don't even feel like going to see Harry Potter right now and that isn't like me.

Go-Quiz.com has some fun quizzes you can take including one that will generate a warning label for you. Maybe I should start wearing this one on all my dates:

THIS WAY UP á

amalaise has fragile contents which may break!

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From Go-Quiz.com